Celebrating Thanksgiving in a Very Anxious World
It’s that time of the year already: ready or not, the holiday season is here! Starbucks has rolled out their holiday cups, decorations are appearing, and families are making holiday plans.
For many of us, though, in the midst of the holiday excitement there is a nagging anxiety. We will be celebrating Thanksgiving as tensions in the Middle East continue to rise, antisemitism surges, war continues in Ukraine, the economy is uncertain, and our political situation appears unstable, just to name a few. Turning on the news is an exercise in anxiety management! On top of all of that, we carry all our normal anxieties about our families, friends, health, etc.
Take a moment to check in with yourself and monitor your own anxiety level. How much of the contagion of anxiety have you absorbed? As we move toward Thanksgiving and the holiday season, consider these grounding practices to help stay centered in the midst of chronic anxiety.
- Practice Grace. The Franciscan Richard Rohr helps us understand grace. He states “grace cannot be understood by any ledger of merits and demerits… Grace is quite literally for the taking.” He points out that grace is not earned; quite a contrast for our culture which measures worthiness and success by a variety of metrics and often leads to judgmental attitudes. Grace is a gift freely given - not earned.
Giving the gift of grace is desperately needed in the midst of our stressed and pained culture. Our ability to make beauty out of the ugly things, and to find compassion in the midst of pain is the essence of living a meaningful and connected life. During this holiday season, there will be many moments that leave us overwhelmed by the brokenness around us. In the midst of all that is broken, we can be “agents of grace” in our worlds.
- Offer the grace of kindness and compassion
- Offer the grace of acceptance
- Offer the grace of being curious about people
- Offer the grace of not being judgemental
- Offer the grace of not seeing the world in black and white
Frederick Buechner writes these words about grace: “Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”
- Practice Gratitude. Language, for better or worse, shapes our reality: the way we talk about something impacts how we feel and how we think. Focusing on the flaws and imperfections of those around us and all that is wrong with the world becomes all that we can see, and leaves us feeling perpetually discouraged and anxious. We become addicted to problem talk! Grace can shift that frame and lead us to gratitude, which allows us to frame a different view. Anne Lamott puts it like this: “The movement of grace towards gratitude brings us from the package of self obsessed madness to spiritual awakening. Grace is peace.” Move from grace to the experience of gratitude!
- Watch for moments of beauty whether in nature, art, or in people. Take time to savor beauty and give thanks for the simple things.
- Be grateful for the people in your life: pay attention and watch for their strengths and positive qualities instead of looking at flaws.
- Allow yourself to be surprised by awe.
- Be grateful for the joy of children.
- Pause throughout the day and offer thanks, and reflect on what you are grateful for at the end of the day.
- Practice Generosity. The holiday season provides an opportunity to be generous. Unfortunately, holiday season generosity frequently focuses on the giving of material things. This is not necessarily a bad practice, but in a culture that focuses on material acquisitions, competition, and getting ahead, the spirit of generosity can easily be lost. As we move towards Thanksgiving, we have an opportunity to focus on generosity as a way of being.
- Give the gift of time: set aside more time to be with the people you care about.
- Give the gift of compassion.
- Give the gift of listening attentively.
- Give the gift of curiosity and questioning. David Brooks in a recent article in the NYTimes commented on how rare it is to encounter people who ask good questions and really want to get to know you.
- Give the gift of positivity! While anxiety is highly contagious, so is positivity. In our highly anxious culture, spread joy and positivity.
We move into Thanksgiving in the midst of an anxious and broken world. It is easy to become infected with the chronic anxiety around us. Try these grounding practices and work at being counter-cultural by offering grace, practicing gratitude, and living generously.
David Olsen, PhD, LCSW, LMFT
