Summary
Our teens face a more complicated world than ever. Online influences and complicated social circles make it difficult for teens to healthily navigate the task of individuation. There are some skills that caregivers and the community can lean into to help them survive and even thrive through this time.
If you have not seen Adolescence yet (a 4-part Netflix series), put it on your list ASAP! This past week, the show swept multiple Primetime Emmy awards, including Best Limited Series, Best Director, Best Writer, and acting honors. Owen Cooper, who plays Jamie, even made history by becoming the youngest male actor ever to win a Primetime Emmy.
At first glance, Adolescence is a tense crime drama about a 13-year-old accused of killing a classmate. Shot in gripping single-take episodes and powered by remarkable performances, it becomes much more: a raw look at how digital influence, peer pressure, and fragile support systems converge during the turbulent years of adolescence. Both powerful and unsettling, Adolescence challenges us to reflect on how young people are raised, supported, and, at times, failed.
Through each episode of Adolescence, and without giving anything important away, we are walked through different angles and perspectives, slowly learning more and more about how we ended up where the series opens. We watch as teens attempt to make sense of who they are and where they belong in a world of adults who can’t seem to fully see them, and can’t fully understand their online worlds. We see how kids, like Jamie, can fall through the cracks and into the waiting arms of the internet where one can feel “seen” by influencers, identity based groups, fringe groups, etc. Unfortunately, we also see how identity formation, when not grounded by positive adult role models, open communication, and safe environments created by healthy adults can lead to disastrous outcomes.
We are then left with an incredibly important question to answer as we reflect on our own children and grandchildren’s lives: How do we protect the ability to experiment with identity and also keep safe boundaries in place so that our kids don’t fall through the cracks and wander the world lost and alone, or worse maybe, connected to a destructive group?
This is a question, of course, that is far too complicated to answer here. If we were to attempt it, you’d be reading this for the next few weeks. Instead, let’s look at a few themes that you can begin to track:
- Parental attunement: The work of focusing on who your child is and tailoring a parenting response to them.
- Peer Pressure: Peer pressure, and the desire to be popular, is a powerful and undeniable factor during adolescence. The impact of peer pressure is more powerful and disruptive for some children than for others.
- Communication and Community: Our children are part of networks of adults who, when communication is working well, can work to support each child’s needs. When this breaks down, however, our children are at greater risk.
- Social Media: Jonathan Haidt in his book The Anxious Generation illustrates the powerful impact that social media has on our children and their identity formation.
These are just highlights of a few of the important themes during the adolescence time period. If you’re interested in learning more, join us for a conference on November 12th that will delve deeper into the themes Adolescence raises, and how we can care for our children in an increasingly complex world.
